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Greetings, Peace, and Light.

It already feels like Fall here in the Northeast, yet we are a month away from its inception. Perhaps El Nino affects time as well as weather.

A special welcome to all those who have chosen to join our circle in the past month, and many blessings to those who passed on copies of the newsletter to their friends.

The Sun enters Virgo on the 23rd of August, and we encounter Evaluation on our metaphoric journey through Change. From the time of the Spring, of the true New Year representing new beginnings, we have passed through Illumination, Values, Ideas, Foundations, and Ego.

It is good that we have dealt with Ego before going into Analysis, Judgement, Expectations, and Criticism. Or have we?

Issue #5 of the newsletter dealing with Leo and the Ego brought double the usual volume of mail from those presenting their ideas and views. All of which is most appreciated, I can assure you.

Let me try to clarify the issue as well as answer your questions and concerns.

When I spoke of the Ego, a Latin word meaning "I", I was referring to the part of you that is consciously aware of your existence and your world. It is the limits and boundaries that you place on this awareness that affects your growth and ability to change.

The Shamanic (spiritual) model places the Ego in the Middle Self as follows:

High(er) Self

Middle Self

Low(er) Self

Thus the conscious awareness is *centered* between inspiration and feelings, insight and intuition. You are aware that you are unlimited, are Spirit having a physical experience, and are creating your own life.

Therefore you know that all change comes from within as your conscious awareness interacts positively and naturally with your inspiration and feelings.

However, if you believe that your conscious awareness, your Ego, is all there is, then your limits are set by whatever you can get from the world around you using whatever means you can. Here you are aware of your feelings but see them as something to be controlled or feared.

You are cut-off from your source, your inspiration, and you force change on both the people and the circumstances of your world.

In this latter case you can go only to the top of a very small hill, and your world is only what you can see. In the former case you can continue to climb an infinite mountain and you can see forever.

The intention of this newsletter is to stimulate your minds and to get you to think for yourselves, to find your own truths. That is why some of you may find my writing cryptic.

Some of you have concerns that those who want you to eliminate your Egos are trying to control you. The problem then is one of their Egos and their need to control (others) in order to validate their beliefs.

The only things we are working at, and advocating eliminating, are limits. The expansion of the Ego is the goal, not its elimination.

Releasing your Ego's grip on your reality frees you. You are then free to allow change to flow through your life.

Back to our journey. The Sun enters Virgo on the 23rd of August, just after a New Moon eclipse and just before Mercury goes direct and Neptune regresses back into Capricorn. A busy time it seems. More about these others further on.

We are now at the sixth step, halfway through our metaphoric voyage of discovery. This is a most critical time (pun unintentional!), for we are now opposite the end of the journey.

In the circle of life, the last step is Faith and Belief. The step we now confront is our expectations, our analysis or criticism of our actions and achievements.

It is here that Doubt can emerge. It begins with a faint feeling of unease, and grows and grows until is undermines the confidence and belief in the self, and confusion reigns.

Here we stand back and see the big picture, and how it measures up to what we envisioned. Here we demand results and tangible proof of our progress and the rightness of our actions.

If what we see does not measure up to our expectations, what we intended, then we begin to doubt ourselves, feel we have made a mistake, that we will not achieve what we set out to do, that we were wrong.

Those who have left a family, a relationship, a job see the disruption in their own lives, and perhaps feel that they have lost or given up too much.

They see that those left behind have the familiar house or work place, are surrounded by familiar people, and are therefore the lucky ones.

Does the apparent lack of results negate the rightness of your actions?

Do you dig up the seeds each day to see if they are growing?

You have to let go of the old to allow in the new.

Speaking of rightness of actions, President Clinton (I know, but bear with me) does not seem to realize that he has the Nixon Syndrome in his astrological chart.

According to the birth data I have, Clinton's Saturn (lessons, appropriate behaviour) is in his 10th house (reputation, public standing), just as Nixon's was.

This placement demands that the person be honest and above board in their dealings with the public, and that any deception will bring about their downfall.

You are now halfway through your journey, and the issue is Time. It takes Time for change to manifest. Six months from planting to harvest; nine months from conception to birth; twelve months for a year to pass. Small steps complete a journey.

When you pause in the middle of the river it is just as far to the bank you are striving to reach as to the bank that you left. You can hold up in the harsh light of reason all that you have achieved, all that you have gained, all that you have lost, and judge yourself.

Tolerance would allow you to see how far you have come and what one day will fill the emptiness, and love yourself for trying.

You cannot lose what is truly yours. You can however gain your true self.

Halfway. Honor how far you have come and what you have. What you think you might have lost was not yours anyway.

Mercury, representing the energy of communications and schedules, goes direct on August 23rd. The difficulties in maintaining timetables, connecting with others and in misunderstandings, should now be past.

Our expectations, our judgement of ourselves, is a residual Ego thing, and inhibits our belief in both ourselves and our creative power.

The lesson of this step in the journey of transformation is Tolerance, both of ourselves and of others. It is the most difficult and critical phase, for we tend to be so critical of ourselves, expect to always be right, to always do the right thing, and never make mistakes.

If that were true, why be here?

This is the time to believe in ourselves, in our power in spite of what logic, analysis, our eyes, and everyone else tells us.

The number twelve is the number of Power. So much wisdom is revealed through its various manifestations. There are Twelve Signs, one for each of the ways in which life is experienced; one for each of the steps of change; one for each of the disciples of Christ, and so on.

Twelve disciples? I personally don't think so, for I believe there were many more, most of who were women, but that is another story, and one bound to stir up some issues.

As for the disciples, the number twelve was chosen for many reasons, to pass on information, to connect to the old knowledge, and also so that there would be one for each of the Signs. Within the Signs of the Zodiac is preserved very ancient wisdom and understanding, and this was a method of linking the new religion to the old ways.

If we consider the disciple Thomas, the doubter. He was the one who had to touch the wounds of Christ in order to believe. This is the manifestation of the Virgo energy and the step we now confront.

Is it real only if you can see it or touch it?

It's alright. We are working towards unconditional belief.

That's why there are six more steps.

Next month is the beginning of Fall (in the Northern Hemisphere). It is the time of the Autumnal Equinox, where day and night are of equal length.

This is harvest time, the time to reap the benefits of all that you set in motion in the Spring. It is one of the Four Directions, the turning points of the year.

I urge you to look for and join in the celebrations of this time.

Prediction: You will see many examples of how far you have come and how much the world has recently changed, between now and the end of November.

Neptune, the energy of the collective subconscious, regresses temporarily back into Capricorn during this period. Its transition into Aquarius last January brought awareness of where the new age is taking us.

This is just to let us know how far we have come.

Correction from the previous issue: Julia White's lists, web sites, and activities (including her Equinox retreat weekend) can be sourced via:

Julia White

My apologies to anyone inconvenienced by the misprint in Issue #5.

Instead of the usual review of web sites this month, I am recommending a book. This will get you out of the house, away from the computer, and under a tree enjoying the outdoors before Winter.

"Astrology For The Soul" by Jan Spiller published by Bantam

This is not an Astrology text, nor does it require knowledge of or belief in, Astrology. It contains twelve (there's that number again!) sections, and locating the one that refers to you is very simple.

The insight and revelations pertaining to your path in this life is extraordinary. This is not just my finding, but is shared by everyone that I have recommended it to.


Let us once again join in this ever growing circle, and to all those that your lives touch, in sending Healing and Light to the Earth, our Mother, and to all those in need.

Let us all be channels flowing the Light from the Higher Realms into this reality, making the world a better and brighter place.

You *can* make a difference.

Please feel free to pass this newsletter on to anyone you feel might be interested in it.

Think about it.

Mitakuye Oyasin (for all my relations),

Alan Grey Wolf
Toronto, Canada
August, 1998

(416) 783-0394

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Red Ball
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Last updated August 23rd, 1998

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